WARNING FROM SPACE

Report from Sgt. Jack "Dial Tone" S. Morieli of the "G.I. Joe Unit", on Top Secret assignment, Area 54-- LOCATION: Eugene, OR

"These aliens, see. I was watching this Firebat just to make sure

it didn't go anywhere. I got this job, this job watchin' Firebats

after the Indonesian All-Man Spice Channel Incident.

Both Hawk and Mainframe agreed that the Pit's computer would

never get rid of those jpegs or that Malware.

Anyway, I was pullin' Firebat watchin' duty. We captured one

when Snow Job found an AVAC parked near his favorite igloo whorehouse

at the North Pole. He offered the guy fifteen bucks for his weird little Cobra knife,

said it was a steal, because with the dollar losing its value and novelty knives

becoming less desirable during the economic recession-- the Cobra took him up on it.

Then Snow Job cut the guy's throat with his own knife, threw him to his pet reindeer,

"Snow Job," and flew this Firebat back to base.

So these aliens appeared, and when the one with the googly face talked, it

sounded like A 2am Drunk Dial from the Devil Himself.

Here's the audio I captured."

"person of greetings. are PLO koon, knight jedi from the distant future or perhaps the distant past."

"Paris gene farm, my clones and me, straight, destroying get you to you a WARNING OF the AREA."

"make you gradicono my swords of the laser? I have something to say and is a lot important."

"that slightly nothing n' is."

"IN MY MOON-LANGUAGE THE WORD FOR '? CONSENSUAL'? THEY IS THE HIMSELF WITH '? IRRELEVANT.'? YOU [THAPSOYME], EARTHMAN."

"haha, a little d' mood of dorian of kel. J' hope that you do not occupy yourselves. we fly this plane. my clones will go up under the wings."

"Cultivation of the gene is illegal with all deimension. don't the gene earthman which I work on the farm made that you catch possible. I shear your mustache my power and due to the ancient times light saber."

End Report.